Time-Sharing Romance, With Yourself / Keep Your Identity In Coupledom

The beginning of a relationship is a time of infatuation, ardor and spending every waking moment with your sweetheart. Or at least wanting to. While that's fine for the short-term, eventually you'll have to find a balance between being in a relationship and being independent in your relationship. It can be tricky to keep your life and your partner happy, without sacrificing personal freedom. It's important that you do, though, for a healthy relationship. Spending too much time together not only creates dependencies between your partner and you, it can also sour a relationship with resentment of loss of independence. Finding your balance isn't hard, if you're aware of your needs.

  • 1. Don't drop everything and everyone when you get into a new relationship. You'll lessen the time you spend with family and friends, it shouldn't altogether disappear to be replaced by your new squeeze. It's a good thing to add to your interests- couples invariably get into a partner's hobby or share hobbies in common. Just don't lose sight of yours, and continue doing all of the things you enjoy, that are just yours. You'll still need your independent time to re-group yourself.
  • 2. Explore new interests, experiment with new styles. Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to put your life on pause, as-is. It can actually be a great motivator for trying out those things you've always wanted to do, or try something new. It could be as simple as going to a different area of town or as involved as signing up for a class, learning something you've always wanted to learn.
  • 3. Taking space doesn't mean that you're taking time off from the relationship, but that you're regaining your independence, clearing your head and giving you both some much-needed time to miss each other. It's a necessary and very healthy part of a relationship to just get some quiet and breathe by yourself. It also increases the quality of the time you spend together, because you can both appreciate each other more.
  • 3. Beware of the dependency trap. Sometimes you're enjoying spending so much time together that you can't imagine or don't want to take a time-out. This can ultimately lead to problems in your relationship. When you give up your personal independence for being attached at the hip, irritations can erupt into arguments. The more you fight, the more your relationship suffers.

New relationships can be wonderful, even magical. Keeping a balance for yourself and your life from the beginning can help you keep your independence in your relationship for long-haul happiness.